I am having a really low night and I want to go back to cutting and possibly run away?

I quit cutting and huffing chemicals back in December.But I have the urge to start up again. I am under a lot of stress and pressure with school and home too. I am not happy at home almost all the time. Everyone fights with each other and a lot of the time I feel unloved. My mom gets on these rants about how sucky life is, and then sometimes she is totally chill. I want to run away tonight. Really bad. I want to go back to cutting. I feel like my guidance counselor and my math teacher are the only people who really see true potential in me. I am a screw up in life it seems. Everyone thinks i am doing great because I havent turned to negative outlets to help me through some traumas that I have undergone, I laugh on the outside, but tonight I am feeling deep pain. I know exactly where I would run to. And it would be totally safe. it's like a hidden place. I just need an escape. Please help me. I don't know what to do.